Q & A's On Intentional Parenting

During my week-long Book Launch in Australia, my publisher Random House sent out a tweet to ask for questions that I could answer in a blog. What an amazing response! Thank you.

We decided to work with 3 of these questions as it represented a good spread in age group as well as issues. 

I started to approach these questions by stepping into the perspective of the child. What would s/he want the parent to do?

The 7R’s of Parenting: Response-ability

Running The 7R’s of Parenting with Response-ability means leading a great life ourselves to excite our family members to unleash their highest potential through exceptional actions. It is about our ability to respond to the ‘business-as-usual’ day-to-day goings-on, as well as the unusual unforeseen that get thrown our way. After all, we live in a world of exponential change.

The 7 R's Of Parenting: Reorganising

Reorganising is simply the ‘doing’ that naturally flows on from the R&R ‘thinking’. Based upon agreed circumstances that are operating well or not, we can make the necessary adjustments: by ‘doing’ more of the things that are working, through incorporating the new ‘thinking’ or ideas that alleviate what was hurting.

The 7 R's Of Parenting: Review & Reflect

Colloquially, ‘R&R’ is the abbreviation for ‘Rest and Relaxation’ - popularised by the war movies of the 1950s when GIs went on leave. The meaning of R&R here is also about taking a break from the routine. It is our ability to pause, take stock of what’s working or not, celebrate the wins, sharpen our axe, and challenge ourselves to new ways of doing better.

Reviewing and reflecting means to ‘practice the pause’.

I have chosen to call this the ‘R&R’ for the family. This R&R could be personal, or it could involve the whole family at once.

The Seven R's of Parenting: Routine

There are those of us that love routines, and those that loathe the thought of it. The question to ask regardless is: What would we do without routines?

Imagine a day without routines.

There is the spontaneity of choosing to do whatever whenever you want in the moment. Great scope to experiment with new ideas of doing seemingly humdrum things. So, what would it be like brushing my teeth at work, rather than before breakfast at home? Then, it could run into a bit of chaos if there was no bus schedule or train timetable...and we waited at the bus stand or railway platform until the appropriate ride appears...the children would wake up at random to make their own breakfast - that would be good - except that Mum who would consistently have stocked the cupboard every Sunday afternoon was experimenting with the new idea of going to the store only as the children tell her what was gone in the pantry...and so it goes...

The Seven R's Of Parenting: Rules

Why do we have rules?

Let’s look at sporting rules. It provides structure and directions for the game. The players know the purpose of the game, how to compete safely, and if rules are broken, then there are consequences. There are different rules for different roles in the game: say a goalkeeper has specific rules applicable, which is different from the quarterback (gridiron) or centre-forward (netball). We have a place where it is played e.g. a soccer pitch, a basketball court, an ice hockey rink. Relating back to the family: what is the purpose of rules? Similar to the above. It sets boundaries and a structure by which every family member agrees to behave in different contexts. There are safety rules -  holding hands when crossing the road for young children, driving rules and safe sex rules for young adults. In some families, there are different rules specific for gender, or order of birth (this is quite common in certain cultures). Rules may vary depending on different family locations, occasions  or contexts. Some families may have strict attire for Sunday church service, weddings or funerals.

Role Modelling Begins At Home

Role modeling is at the heart of parenting: it is essentially about setting an ideal example or pattern of behaviour that is worthy of following. It has been said that behaviour is the highest form of communication. Actions speak louder than words. 

Most parents attempt to be a good example for their children, although they may end up setting a bad one. An example, in other words, is a precedent for imitation, either good or bad. Most parents find it easier to provide a model for their children, which refers to a person or thing that is to be followed or imitated because of its excellence in conduct or character. Not all children regard their parents as an ideal to which they aspire, a word that suggests an imagined perfection or a standard based upon a set of desirable qualities; but young people’s lives often end up following the pattern established by their parents, meaning that their lives follow the same basic configuration or design.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

When it comes to parenting, I believe there are 7 R’s that provide a pathway to success, but these 7 R’s in many ways are just as valuable for leaders who want to inspire in the workplace. In coming issues I will look at…

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